“It’s 5:30. Get up and make coffee.”

“What’s the temperature? 30? Not bad. I should ride outside this morning.”

“No, go to PWP. Better workout. I need that today.”

“Boy, this coffee is good. I should have another cup.”

“Oh, a Saturday morning Law & Order marathon.”

“Don’t get back under the covers.”

“Grrrr. My favorite bib shorts aren’t washed.”

“Seriously? There’s a whole closet full of cycling clothes.”

…and it went back and forth like that for about an hour. But in the end, I went to PWP for what ended up to be a very hard two hours on the trainer.

During a particularly difficult section about 90 minutes in, this song came up in Kristen’s playlist:

Most definitely an unconventional choice in this setting, and it cracked me up. I found myself smiling − and surprisingly I was able to ignore how my legs were feeling at that moment. So, a big thank you to the boys from New Zealand for getting me through the final 30 minutes.

And now, I’m listening to the “other voice” from this morning. And that can only mean one thing…

It’s nap time.

Someone posted this prescription bottle to my Facebook page this morning. Funny how the universe works sometimes.

This was my view last Sunday afternoon. I ended up in the emergency room after having chest pains for several hours. I thought the pain would go away, but when it didn’t, I got scared. I had never felt that way before.

When I got to the ER, my blood pressure was sky high. That alone freaked me out a bit. I was told to calm down; that it was probably due to nerves and pain. Fast tracked to a room, hooked up to machines, and blood drawn.

Then answer questions: shortness of breath? No. Dizziness? No. Do you have a family history of heart disease? Yes. High blood pressure? Yes. Ulcers? Yes.

I’m lucky. Tests for heart attack, lung clot, and other possible stuff all negative. I’ve been to see my doctor this week, and he pretty much confirmed what I already knew: there’s a high probability that my “incident” was brought on by stress.

So what’s the point here?

This was a wake up call for me. Stress can do bad things to your body and your mind. My father was only three years older than I am now when he had quadruple bypass surgery and a subsequent stroke. I don’t want that to be me.

I need to make exercise and healthful eating a priority.

That’s the only prescription I need right now.

*Original source of the prescription bottle image unknown

It’s always a pleasure to visit Velosmith Bicycle Studio. Not only is Tony one of the most knowledgeable guys around, he’s also one of the nicest. His studio is filled with eye candy from some of the best bike and component brands in the world, both new and vintage. It’s easy to spend time there, talking bikes, drinking espresso. I left there with a little birthday present, and being the type/vintage sign/bike geek that I am, I find this quite tasty.

Next stop: drop my Peugeot frame and fork at the Pony Shop for a few things that can’t be done at home. Upon entering the shop we’re greeted by Coco, who can hardly walk because she is wagging her tail so hard. What’s better than a great shop dog at a great bike shop? Not much.

On the way back from Evanston, we decided to try a little Mexican restaurant on Clark Street. What a find! La Choza was excellent, and my new go-to place when I’m craving Mexican food…which is quite often.

Back home, and I couldn’t believe what was waiting: BEST. BIRTHDAY. GIFT. EVER.  (and yes, the caps and periods are necessary to express my sheer delight). I opened every box and touched each beautiful component, imagining how they will look on my Seven. It’s going to be sweeter than it already is!

All in all, a pretty spectacular day. Not sure everyone understands why I would call such a low-key, bike-filled day “spectacular”… it just was.

This morning, I woke up later than I planned to. It was cold and difficult to get out of bed. I headed into my closet and pulled on my favorite bib shorts and a t-shirt. Then slipped on a pair of yoga pants; it was too cold to go out with bare legs this morning.

I headed down to the kitchen and only had time for one cup of coffee, which I knew was not nearly enough for the two-hour trainer session that awaited me. Running late, so no choice. I put the bike in the car and headed out.

After arriving, I put my bike in the trainer, took off my boots and jacket, and slipped off my yoga pants…

and realized that I had put on my bib shorts inside out!

Really? There’s not much better than standing in the middle of about 15 people with your shorts on inside out.

Oh well, I guess every day can’t be as spectacular as the day before. A little embarrassment (along with the ability to laugh at yourself, which I did) is always a good reality check.

Once I corrected my morning blunder, it was time to sweat and work off the mint chocolate chip ice cream cake from yesterday.

That’s reality too.

But I did it…365 pictures. And the amazing thing is that as I look back on this set, I can remember taking each one. So while this may just seem like a bunch of random pictures, it’s actually a mini-documentary of my year. I think that’s a pretty remarkable thing to have.

Here are my 11 favorites from 2011:

11. Type (230/365) I readily admit that I’m a type geek. Finding random bits of type while out riding is one of my favorite things to shoot.

10. National Coffee Day (271/365) As anyone will tell you, this is exactly what riding is all about. It just so happened to fall on National Coffee Day.

9. Early Arrival (351/365) This was such a random sighting one early morning, and also pretty much the only day we’ve had any snow in Chicago.

8. The Color of Sadness (129/365) The death of Wouter Weylandt during this year’s Giro affected the entire cycling community…including me.

7. Humboldt Park (23/365) It was crazy cold this morning and I took a walk up to the park. I loved the way someone walked around this wheel and continued on in the line they had walked before.

6. Circles (154/365) I was getting a pedicure and the girl dropped the nail polish. I loved what happened here (although I think she thought I was weird for taking pictures!).

5. July (182/365) A random yellow wall just at the Tour began. Perfect.

4. Harold Washington Library, Chicago (172/365) I was sitting at a red light on State Street and stuck my camera out of my sunroof. One of my favorite and most commented on pics of the year.

3. Dog Shadow (236/365) The piece of dog folk art that sits on my refrigerator was casting this shadow on a small bronze sculpture called “You Go Girl”…indeed.

2. Morning Sun (186/365) Was on my way to grab coffee for my morning commute and they were cutting the grass in Logan Square. The dust that was being stirred up was reflecting in the sunlight. I thought it was beautiful. How could I not stop?

1. Catwalk (100/365) I was riding down Milwaukee Avenue and saw this traveling cat show bus (yeah, I know that’s probably a story in itself). I sat on the sidewalk and leaned my bike against the bus, and this is what happened…

Happy New Year everyone. I can’t wait to see what 2012 brings.

Days like this make me very happy that I ride a bike.

I’m always changing playlists, and this one got me through tonight:

1. The Russian March, Dirty South & Bob Sinclar
2. Four Sticks, Led Zeppelin
3. Private Life, Grace Jones
4. Buckethead, Carbon/Silicon
5. Baby Please Don’t Go, Them
6. Ancient History, Tiesto
7. Heartlines, Florence + The Machine
8. Stranglehold, Ted Nugent
9. Tightrope, Janelle Monae
10. a.k.a I-D-I-O-T, The Hives
11. Feral, Radiohead
12. Bleed It Out, Linkin Park
13. C’mon C’mon, The Von Bondies
14. Sex Type Thing, Stone Temple Pilots
15. Swampblood, Legendary Shack Shakers
16. White Riot, The Clash
17. Woman, Wolfmother
18. Blame, Everything But The Girl
19. Bulletproof, La Roux
20. Mrs. Robinson, The Lemonheads
21. Psychotic Reaction, Count Five
22. Never Stop, Gonzales
23. Panic Switch, Silversun Pickups
24. Father’s Son, Fistful of Mercy
25. Music Plus 1, Cornershop
26. Pon de Replay, Rihanna
27. Red Light Green Light, The Fresh & Onlys
28. Brother Lee, Citizen Cope
29. Whole Lotta Love, Led Zeppelin
30. Hey Ya!, OutKast
31. Honey, Moby

You know the feeling. When you’ve been on your bike and pushed until you thought you couldn’t go any longer? The feeling that only comes when you’ve worked until your legs want to stop, but your mind says keep going – and you do? That’s what I was feeling this morning.

This was not the best season for me on the bike. It was a busy summer, and I didn’t ride as much as I should have. When you ride once or maybe twice a week, the fitness is just not there. I found it frustrating, but also knew that it was up to me to do something about it. I needed to make my physical and mental health a priority, and I also knew that I needed to do some serious work this winter to start stronger in the spring.

So, I decided to once again take Kristen Meshberg’s Pedaling with a Purpose winter training classes. Twice a week since the beginning of December I’ve been riding inside with her for 90 minutes on Wednesday nights and two hours on Saturday morning.

And I love it.

I posted a picture last night and titled it “Pain Cave.” For many reasons riding inside is really painful – physically and mentally. But the reality is that while I haven’t felt so tired from riding in a long time, I also haven’t felt so great about it either. Riding past what you think are your own personal limits on the bike, regardless of whether you’re riding inside or out, is an amazing feeling that only those who have experienced it can ever understand.

Listen, I would much rather be riding outside all the time, but I know that I’m pushing myself in there like I probably (no…definitely) don’t push myself when I’m riding alone.

I will still ride outside whenever I can this winter. I’ve adjusted my schedule, and my mindset, to include riding as much as I can. Which includes going to these sessions twice a week and giving it all I have.

What feels better than that?

]]> http://soozed.com/pain-cave/feed/ 2 http://soozed.com/april-17-2001/ http://soozed.com/april-17-2001/#comments Sun, 17 Apr 2011 17:03:30 +0000 soozed http://soozed.com/?p=744 I got into work early that morning and saw that I already had phone messages waiting for me. I hit the keys on the phone to retrieve messages, and I heard my sister Cathy’s voice…

“Suz, call me back.”

Tone is everything, isn’t it? Why would she be calling me so early? At work? I distinctly remember the feeling I got in the pit of my stomach; I assumed it was something with my mother. After all, that’s the logical order of things when your mind starts thinking of all the reasons for an early-morning message. I was wrong.

My 20-year old niece Emily had driven to Milwaukee with friends the day before, but she wasn’t coming back. She was killed on the way home by someone in a pickup truck who had too much to drink that night. The details of the accident are too painful to remember today…but I think of other things.

Our family gathered that day at my sister’s house, not really knowing what to do or say. Just knowing we needed to be together. But there are things that need to be done at a time like this, aren’t there?

There are those details of planning a service…what to do over the next few days…what do you do to honor a young girl’s life? We never had to do this before. It’s not the “logical order” at all. Even today I sit in awe of my sister Mary Ellyn and brother-in-law John who during a time of ultimate grief, made the decision to donate her healthy, young eyes and skin so someone else could see or a burn victim could heal. It was perhaps the noblest and most unselfish act I’ve ever witnessed. And the perfect way to honor Emily’s life. Odd as it is to say, she would have approved.

The following year, as April and the anniversary of her death was upon us, we lost my mother…also named Emily… almost one-year to the day later. Losing her “namesake” granddaughter had a bigger impact on her than perhaps any of us realized. Our wounds deepened and again we grieved. Would April ever be the same for us?

Ten years have passed and I think of my beautiful niece on so many occasions. This quirky 20-year-old girl who showed up with blue hair one day, red the next. A combat-boot-wearing artistic soul who loved butterflies, and poetry, and writing. I grieve that we did not have a chance to know the woman that she would have become. I think I would have liked her very much.

While out riding several weeks ago I saw something that made me think of her, but couldn’t remember where it was. So today, I spent a fair amount of time just riding around trying to find it. But I didn’t mind…I needed to find it.

For Emily…

I dressed and went about performing my usual pre-ride rituals: pump the tires, spin the wheels, check the brakes, make sure nothing rattles, drop a bottle into the cage, and attach the computer….uh…wait. Why am I doing that?

Habit. That’s all it is. It doesn’t make me go any faster or farther, or provide any additional motivation to ride. I don’t ever leave my house with a pre-determined mileage in mind…I simply go out and ride until I feel like turning around. Sometimes that’s two hours. Sometimes it’s 30 minutes. I don’t care how fast I’m going, and I don’t need any motivation to ride other than my desire to do so. And I definitely don’t need a computer to tell me when my legs are toast or my lungs may implode. My “internal computer” handles that just fine.

Truth be told, I’ve always refused to let those numbers dictate whether I’m having a good day or a bad day on the bike. Every time I get to ride is a good day, and that makes me happy. Which in turn makes me much more pleasant to be around. Simple as that.

So I removed it. All of it. Cut the cable ties that attached every part to my bike.

It felt a bit weird at first. It’s always been there, and I readily admit that I loved having it last summer on my L2P ride. Seeing the numbers and what I accomplished over the four days was extremely empowering for a novice rider. But since then, it’s been on my bike just because I have it.

Seeing my bike without all that added stuff was refreshing and seemed much truer to the simplistic beauty of the frame. I got over the weirdness really fast.

I may use it again should I choose to undertake another “epic” ride, but until then, it’s just me, my bike, and the freedom I feel every time I hit the road.

Now that’s empowering.

25-35 mph winds, with gusts to 40? Suck it up, invoke Rule #5, and get out there.

Give the Seven a once-over, pump the tires, check the brakes.

Click in…snap! Gooooo.

It’s March: no speed, little stamina…who cares? Keep going.

Shift. Pedal. Push.

Ignore the saddle. Ignore the lungs.

Something catches my eye; quick turnaround.

Snap a picture, and move on.

Spring is imminent. I can feel it. I’m happy.

More than just the Fulcrums are spinning.

Smile. Smile. Smile.