I didn’t sleep well last night. I awoke this morning haunted by memories of weird dreams… memories which lingered throughout the day today. Right before I got on my bike tonight I tweeted “ok let’s sweat and exorcise a few demons.” Little did I know…
I knew it was going to be a rough one when I started watching the clock right from the start. Ninety minutes will feel like ninety years if you’re looking at the clock by minute four. I pushed through the first section, trying to focus on the music. Watching Paris-Roubaix up on the screen. Doing my best to ignore the demon that the trainer had become tonight. Ok, 40 minutes done.
Eight minutes. Just eight measly minutes for the next section. Thirty seconds of 100+ cadence followed by thirty seconds of active recovery. For eight minutes. An eternity.
And then the real fun began. Big ring intervals. Four minutes pushing 100 rpms; four minutes off. Three minutes in a harder gear; three minutes off…and so on and so on.
At about 70 minutes, my legs wouldn’t push those gears anymore, no matter how much I willed them to. The demon had won. I let it win. And I was pissed. I don’t like to fail…at anything. And I feel like I failed tonight – mentally and physically.
Tomorrow I will put this into perspective as a very tiny bump in this really long journey I’m on.
But I have a feeling it may be another restless night tonight.