Today’s word
It was about 2:45 and I was sitting at my desk watching the snow blow and swirl outside my office window. The blizzard was rolling in exactly as predicted. I noticed that I hadn’t flipped my “word of the day” calendar in a few days, so I proceeded to tear off each day until I reached today’s word: otiose.
Now, if you’re like me, this is not a word that rolls off the tongue as part daily conversation. But its meaning certainly struck a chord with me: “producing no useful results; futile; being at leisure; idle….” This perfectly describes how I’ve been feeling lately.
As riding my bike outside has become more challenging in the past couple months, I’ve been trying to stay active in a variety of ways — going to the gym, out for walks, riding the bike on the trainer. But I know I’m not pushing myself as much as I should be. The winter is wearing on me…I miss riding my bike…I miss the feeling of physical and mental health that I only get from long rides. The trainer is not my friend.
I need to step it up in other ways, so I’ve decided to work with a personal trainer at the gym a couple days a week for a while. I did this about four years ago, and it was not only the best I ever felt, but it was the strongest physically than I’ve ever been. I miss that. I need to feel that way again, especially as I’m yet another year older and struggling with the reality of that and everything that comes with it.
So starting Thursday morning the clock will be set for 4:30 am, and I will head to the gym before work. I’m going to pay someone to torture me and work me until I probably feel like puking. And I can’t wait.
But tonight, I’m sitting here listening to the wind howl and watching the snow assault my windows…. and I’m trying to find the motivation to get on the bike for a while. I know that I will feel better once I do.
I only have to remember that while the trainer is not my friend, my bike certainly is.
